'One'ders of His Love

It's hard to believe that it's been 1 year since I set eyes on the most perfect pair of feet I have ever seen.  Yes, I said feet. After Owen's traumatic delivery the doctors vigilantly worked to keep Owen with us.  From across the room and in between doctors all I could see were his tiny feet. ...and for any of you that know me-  I'm not a fan of feet. : ) But during the moments post c-section delivery, I have never prayed harder for anything in my life. I just prayed to keep Owen and those perfect little feet with our family. There are times when life is measured by the breaths you take and in the number of chest compressions before a cry. It's especially true when you are waiting for a single breath from the tiny life you are waiting to meet. I can't begin to describe the deafening silence of the minutes we were waiting and praying for a single breath or noise to creep out of Owen's little body. It was pure agony and then in a crescendo of emotion... we heard a single screech. I knew no matter what the outcome, God made him perfect just the way he was and we couldn't take for granted the moments were were given. It wasn't until Owen was stabilized that they wheeled him over on a little gurney and with my left arm stretched out we held hands. It was then, that I knew God had answered my prayer and that the road might be long, but Owen Albert Fox would stay with us.  I had never been so certain of anything in my life- Owen would fight.  A few short moments later, as I laid helpless on the operating table,  he was whisked away by the Lifelink helicopter crew and it would be 24 hours until I saw him again and 4 days until I would get to hold him for the first time.

Owen -2 days old

Shelby left shortly after the helicopter did. One of us needed to be with Owen and I wasn't able to be discharged immediatly following surgery. St. Paul was where Shelby needed to be.  I would be fine. That night when everybody left and I needed to rest- all that I had was a copy of Owen's footprints. It tore me apart... I didn't even have a picture of my sweet boy and he was 200 miles away fighting without me. I stared at that slip of paper with his footprints until I fell asleep and knew all I could do is work on healing so I could be with him. The next morning under strict orders from my doctor I was dischared 22 hours after my c-section in the care of the best grandparent ever to go and be with Owen.

I'll never forget that moment, when I first really got to see Owen in the NICU in St. Paul. He was all cleaned up, electrodes and IV lines hooked up to ever limb of his body, a little tube going in his mouth to feed him and he was all snuggled in a blanket in his isolet pod. Despite not knowing about his cleft lip and palate prior to birth his appearance didn't scare me. I could see how beautiful he was, just as God made him. I knew that God would guide the hands of the doctors to finish his work and put the pieces back together. Owen's personality shone right through his appearance -a mild mannered fighter with beautiful expressive eyes. All the days he spent in the NICU he rarely cried or put up a fuss... he just kept fighting. He was the Little Engine That Could. He somehow knew and understood that we were doing all we could to help him. We stayed with him as many days as we could- just being close to him, contemplating his eye color (still not clearly defined), chatting with the nurses and doing the small Mommy and Daddy duties that we could for him. We drove back and forth from home (where Ashton and Kiera were with Grandma & Papa) to St. Paul to be with Owen. It took the better part of the first two weeks to get his endocrine situation sorted out and then the last two recovering from pneumonia that he got while in the NICU. And finally after a month our little fighter made it home!

Owen's NICU Room

His first year has been a big one for him. He's had 4 surgeries: g-tube, eyes, lip & palate. After 6 months we were able to successfully wean him off of his feeding tube- he learned to eat with bottles.... and then after his palate surgery- he re-learned to eat again with bottles and real FOOD! His button g-tube is still in place (they want us to have not use it for 5 months before removing it), but we are well on our way to having it removed!!! His eyes are looking better than ever and we just keep getting better news at each optical appointment. His complex endocrine needs are on a schedule and his daily medications are allowing his body to grow and thrive! I am constantly checking and re-checking to see that he got his medicine- we are all to aware that his daily medicines are what keeps him home with us and out of the hospital. While gross motor wise he is lagging, we are encouraged by the constant progress he makes. His huge smile and glittering eyes are just as much him as the scar on his lip.

While we know our journey is not yet close to done, we are happy to say it's not. A single breath out of sync in the operating room last year could have changed the outcome of Owen's birth entirely. Today, despite the challenges we've faced as a family, I'm grateful to have had this year with Owen in it...  I couldn't picture our family without him.   Happy Birthday Owen! 



Owen's BIG Smile





Best Sister EVER!



Best Brother EVER!



Merry Christmas

Owen's First Christmas





Thank you to all who have touched our lives in 2010 and who have sent prayers our way. We are eternally grateful to our family and friends that have extended their helping hands and hearts to get us where we are today.

 God Bless You!

Love & Hugs Always, Sarah & Shelby Fox Family