I got 99 problems...

I don't typically make resolutions. I find them to be over-inflated wishes verses pathways to actionable change. Today many will make and fail to keep resolutions to become a "better you" by way of some tangible benchmark. More than ever I'm feeling immense and constant pressure today and all year long by the barrage of posts on my Facebook feed and in my Facebook direct messages by friends offering their own brand of 'new you' solutions... I've gotten dozens of these kind of direct messages in 2019.

Want to find the new you in the new year? That's cool, but I do like the 'old' you... that's why we're friends. I like you for you and you like me for me. That's what good friendships are made of. But if you're on the search for a new you, I think that's awesome too and I'm here to support you on your journey.... I also have a lot of friends who can help you with that! 

In 2019, I've received direct messages from friends letting me know that they alone have the holy grail of solutions to nearly all my imperfections! I have received at least SIX different pitches with solutions to help me lose all the extra weight I’ve been carrying. I have been offered solutions for my bad skin problems, solutions for my ugly brittle hair problems, solutions for my toxic cleaning product problems, solutions for my dirty home air problems, solutions for my macro nutrient deficiency problems, solutions for my normal length eye lash problems, solutions for my boring polished nail problems, solutions for my children's health problems, solutions for my dragging energy levels, solutions for my underwear and shapeware to tuck in said fat problems, solutions for my accessory problems, and solutions for my [fill in the blank] problems.

I never realized I had SO many problems until this year! My problems seem to have EXPLODED! I never realized how terrible of a lifestyle I've been living! I never realized that I was so overweight and unhealthy that somebody would decide to put together a complete custom intervention program just for me! I never realized that my skin was so bad and my eyelashes so stunted that a friend would be sure to tell me that they could fix my dark spots and get me connected with the products to make sure my eye lashes WOW my husband…. In 2019, I found out that I likely look like an overweight troll and I pretty much suck at life, but alas my “friends” have solutions for all of that!

....and you know what’s really weird.... nobody has ever messaged my husband or any other man I know to offer solutions to their problems! They must not have these problems! They must be the perfect species! It seems it’s only women who have ALL of these problems! Our gender seems to be a terribly broken half of the human race! It’s amazing that we are even considered equal to men with all of the problems we have!!

So, by this point I hope you’ve read the sarcasm in most of this. I'm sincerely happy for those who have found the solutions to their problems or those who wish to try any of these multi-level marketing products. I wish you continued success.  But, I think it’s time we take a look at the bigger picture of the culture that’s being created on the Facebook feed of millions of women. Newsfeeds littered with multi-level marketing schemes thriving on breaking down other women’s confidence and sense of self-worth and bankrolling off of a manufactured sense of self-doubt and self-loathing. I’m going to be honest with you, it’s not for me. I’ve been there and done that with many of these products and I’m done. I wish you’d stop telling women what’s wrong with them, what problems they have, or how they can become a better version of themselves. I find it fascinating that many of the same women that scream about gender equality, would freak out about women being objectified in the mass media and tout the importance of women run ‘businesses’ are the same women preying on women’s emotions and low self-confidence for profits. At this pace, it'll be a wonder if our daughters grow up with even a sliver of self-confidence.

So, if you’re a woman like me who’s exhausted by the never-ending stream of MLM product pitches, don't forget- you're great now and the old you is pretty great too. Working on yourself is great, taking time to just be okay with things is great, some days just surviving is a miracle. Don't be afraid to celebrate who you are today!