In light of the explosion on social media regarding the Supreme Courts movements in considering the legalization of same sex marriage and aside from the cliche jabs at dysfunctional heterosexual couples for their lack of longevity in marriage, I offer my thoughts...
I grew up in a family that included a same sex couple. This is a fact. It's also a fact that there were never any informative or enlightened conversations within our home regarding the sexual orientation of my Uncle. My parents simply assumed I would put the pieces together. I don't think that they ever expected that lack of knowledge on the subject would leave me naive for years to the fact that my Uncle and his 'friend' were in fact a same sex couple. I can only speculate that my Mothers lack of communication on this issue was simply an oversight that was overshadowed by acceptance- it didn't matter to her, and subjects that didn't matter to her were not worth her discussion.
As I reflect on my childhood and time here on Earth that I was blessed to have known my Uncle, I know my Uncle loved me unconditionally. A week never went by without my Mom or Dad hollering through the door to hurry up and take the long distance call from my Uncle in Chicago. Uncle Roger never failed to call to show his love and appreciation for the mundane events of my childhood. He often used silly voices to talk to me as a way of relating to my elementary school self, convincing me I was talking with his neighbor girl, Suzy. He was always sure to speak with each of us kids to talk about our lives, accomplishments, and events. I could have never fathomed how important that loving family connection and those calls every week were, until years later, until he was gone. When he and his partner visited us a few times a year they would bring trinkets and souviniers from the big city to share with me and my siblings. During his visits my siblings and I were eager to go on the adventures he had planned to visit local attractions and enjoyed each others company. He and his partner often cooked us meals, celebrated our Finnish heritage, and their own experiences in life outside of our small town. I have so many wonderful memories of him and his partner and the love and joy they brought to my life.
When considering the issue of same sex marriage, I am sad for those who cannot accept the reality that a person can have a relationship with another human being of the same sex that is as emotionally and spiritually intimate and unconditional as a heterosexual couple. I consider my past a fortunate enlightenment to the relationship of those living in a same sex union. It's still easy for me to reflect back on those cherished days with my Uncle and his partner and know that love was the foundation. I fail to see the evil and sin that so many have shrouded and shamed same sex couples with. While I don't know the depth and details of my Uncle's personal relationship, I know that his union with his partner was a union to be celebrated. The longevity of their union lasted until his passing, for better or worse, in sickness and health. If they so felt that their union was one they wanted formally recognized in our structured society, they should have been given the opportunity to express it to the extent as a heterosexual couple.
I know my Uncle loved me unconditionally. To even suggest that he could not love another person unconditionally would be ignorance. So if the person he chose to love and share his life with was of the same gender, so be it! Love should be celebrated, love between all couples should be given the same formality as another. Love is not a privilege to be squandered by those clinging to their personal faith, love is universal, love is a right.
Goodnight & God Bless,
Sarah
