Now, I don’t want to lessen the importance reaching these milestones or reduce gratification that we and our children receive from mastering these skills… but as a parent of special needs children I frequently enjoy a private laugh and eye roll when parents of ‘normal’ kids get worked up about their own children not reaching a particular milestone on time. I do believe the lack of some skills is in fact a result of inadequate teaching/guidance. It happens to all of us, even I am guilty of this! The process of teaching Owen to use dining utensils is proving to be incredibly challenging/frustrating and at times easier to let him just dig-in without intervention! I’ve laxed to the point of hoping that he will learn from social example and try to intervene when he seems most receptive. Sometimes you have to just do what you can to retain your own sanity. But, for the most part, your kiddo will learn- it’ll happen.
When Ashton was born we had no idea that he wouldn’t walk until after his fourth birthday, we didn’t know he would sleep in his crib until he was three, we didn’t know it would take until his fifth birthday to become fully potty trained- but, these things finally happened. And believe me- we shouted from the rooftops when these things did happen!
These things may not happen in the order in which you prefer or may come with extra help, Ashton walked with a walker before he ever attempted walking on his own. Owen ate through a tube for over six months before ever enjoying his first mouthful of real food and only then was he able to with the aid of his palate prosthetic.
The only person that gets hung up on these things is you. Yes, society, doctors, your closest friends, and family may put undo pressure on us as parents to push our children to fit onto some sort of graph and meet their milestones in perfect sequence, but it doesn’t always happen that way- and that’s okay! Those milestones that you worry yourself to death over will all be met by your baby in their own time and in their own way. Maybe instead of walking on their feet, they’ll walk using wheels or instead of mastering silverware they’ll master their drawing skills first. I’ll never stop hoping, trying, and pushing my kiddos to do better and do the things that they need to, but I quit getting hung up on the time tables long ago.
Tonight Ashton has his pre-school graduation, he will walk
up to get his little diploma- just like the other kids. There was a time when I
didn’t think this would ever happen, but tonight It’ll happen.
Love, Hugs & Prayers to you all,
Sarah
