It's been almost 4 weeks since my last blog and just like the season of Spring, our kids are in full bloom as well. The kids are all getting bigger and it's so easy to lose sight of where we have been. Somebody told me once that you're body/brain cannot recall the sensation of pain, but only the lesson that you learned from it. It's a type of gift that our brain gives us, not to relive the physical pain of excruciating moments in our lives. I think the same holds true for the emotional pain and struggles. Once you are able to put the struggles of the past in your past, it seems easy to forget the emotional pain and sadness. We recall the lessons learned and triumphs over tragedy, but the emotional pain of those tense moments is nearly gone.
Last year at this time if a fortune teller were to have told me about all of the changes and accomplishments our babies would make in one years time- I wouldn't have believed them. There is simply no way I could comprehend or imagine how we as a family could trudge through, survive and thrive through such an eventful year.
Last week was the one year anniversary of the first of Owen's life changing surgeries. On May 10th, 2010 Owen went in for surgery to close the cleft in his lip. I was so scared that I would lose the beautiful BIG smile that God gave him... lucky for me, the surgeons skillfully crafted Owen a new smile that was just as big and just as handsome as his first smile. Since May 2010 I have held Owen in my arms three more times as he drifted to sleep under anesthesia for subsequent surgeries. We are blessed to have had the pleasure of working with such skilled surgeons, doctors & nurses, but for now look forward to a small break from them! We will see Owen's craniofacial surgeon and orthodontist in August, but don't expect any surgeries in the near future. It's nice to focus on the normal toddler things for now.
...and speaking of 'normal' toddler stuff! Owen has decided that he can eat ALL things by himself now! He very much prefers and is pretty insistent at times that he can eat by himself. He only allows me to help with apple sauce and yogurt lately. It's seems so alien to just make Owen a plate like Kiera & Ashton now, after all it was only a short 10 months ago when he was exclusively tube fed baby!
Owen is also quite mobile and crawling everywhere and tall kneeling to reach almost whatever he wants. He is inconsistently getting up to his feet, but we work on it everyday... and we know, we'll get there. 'slow and steady!' We are happy to report that despite his non-functioning pituitary gland, he is thriving and growing due to the supplementation of his hormones. You can read more about hypopituitarism here: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hypopituitarism/DS00479
Owen gets medications five times a day, but that means life for him. No medication = No Owen. It's that simple, but it's not scary for us anymore. We are thankful to live in a day in age where the medications he needs are available and easily monitored by his endocrinologist. We have successfully made it through a acute case of pneumonia and kept him out of the hospital... this is a BIG DEAL with a kiddo with hypopituitarism!!! We have been granted a kind of 'gold star' from Owen's endocrinologist! We have been given an extra month between visits- we now will be on an every 4 month visit schedule instead of every 3 months!! wahoo!
Kiera is loving every second of the warmer weather, she really just loves every second to be spent outdoors! I struggle most days just to keep her in the house! In fact I installed a gate on the far side of the deck near the stairs, so if she does escape out the patio door- she can't get off of the deck without my assistance. I'm glad I did it! It is nice to be able to have the patio door open and just let the kids play on the deck while I get dinner ready or run inside to get more bubble solution for the bubble machine!
Kiera's language and understanding continues to excel! I can't think of a single thing she doesn't know anymore or can't say... she's just so much fun! She is certainly wise beyond her years, but then again she has been on the journey with her brother's for a long time. She is no stranger to compassion, perseverance and unconditional love. It's wonderful to see her reciprocate those attributes right back at everyone! Tonight when I tucked her in I said, 'love you, Squirrelly' as I shut the door and she screamed, 'Mom, wait!' I cracked the door open again and peeked my head in.. she sat up and said, 'I love you through and through!' Oh, that got me.. she does it to me all the time! I went back in and gave her another hug & kiss and told her, 'I love you through and through too.'
Ashton is growing steadier and steadier on his new found feet every single day. It's pretty awesome to have a front row seat to the new and exciting world walking has brought to him. He has changed so much in a single month, it's nearly unbelievable. His daily frustrations and outbursts have decreased exponentially -his body is now coordinating movement with his mind! He doesn't need my assistance for most of his day to day activities now.. and to tell you the truth, it's weird! I'm embracing every moment of it though and giving him the 'room to run'. I try to intervene as little as possible so he can cultivate his new skills organically. He's doing a great job too!
Over the last 3 month's I made the conscious decision to quit worrying about what Ashton ate and how many calories he was taking in every day. It seemed almost a sin! After all, it has been routine for me for almost two years with Ashton... and guess what? He gained 2 pounds! It's quite obvious to me that after one year of being on growth hormone- his body is positively responding and doesn't need my calorie counting anymore!
I could go on and on about the things the kids don't need me for anymore... did I mention Ashton and Kiera are both about 90% potty trained now! I know, I know.. they are all still under the age of FIVE and will need me for years, but the first 4 years have been quite complicated and it's been a struggle to get here. It's an akward sense of relief to be able to let go of some of the 'baby Mom' duties and move forward. The tears, heartache and feelings of defeat are easy to let go of now. We have learned so much in the last four years... I can barely wrap my head around the next 20!
While I realize that this moment is a plateau in our climb to the mountain top, I'm going to enjoy the level ground for awhile!
Love & Hugs,
Sarah
