I can wholly admit that as a mother three; and two of which have a disability, it is easy some days feel defeated. My last post was probably one of those days. ;) I worry and wonder if the things we are doing for our boys are enough- always brainstorming, 'what else can I do to help them along?' I know there are days where any parent can feel this way... I think self doubt is the plight of parenthood. The constant wonder and worry, but then you have a day like we had today and you know that everything you're doing is just right.
The last week has been paramount for Ashton and his quest for independent mobility. After weeks of waffling back and forth on whether or not to make the move to get a walker for Ashton, Shelby and I made the leap on our own. It was something we had been discussing with Ashton's physical therapist, but hadn't made any official moves.. we were still in the process of his PT trying to locate a small enough one we could borrow from a medical facility to see if it was a worth while venture- when the ah-ha moment came! We felt that Ashton needed to feel what it's like to walk without the assistance of others, just Ashton power. The walker would be assistance, but totally in his control. While getting Ashton up from a nap I walked by his room and eyed an old hand-me-down toy baby doll stroller and thought... if we did this, took this off, turned this, reattached this piece here- we could have an Ashton size walker!
I helped Ashton up the stairs and immediately went back down to get my newest invention. After I ran the idea past Shelby- because I would need his assistance in manufacturing my invention, we were in business. We removed the Winny the Poo cover & shade, drilled out rivets, used the pipe cutter to get the handles just so- and we had a walker.
I can't even begin to explain how great Ashton has received my invention! He has been a walking machine!! He can easily maneuver his walker around the house and get from place to place without assistance from us, he is even choosing to use it without our asking! In a week we have witnessed his mobility skyrocket, he has been zooming around the house and just 'looking around' from his new vantage point- and today was the icing on the cake!
We have PT on Mondays and Wednesdays at 9am at the Early Learning Center and after his PT session the teachers have extended the invitation for Ashton (and me) to stay and participate in the group activities for the remainder of the morning session. We did this last Monday and did pretty good until the last 20 minutes, but today was AMAZING! With his new wheels he easily lined up and walked with his assigned group, moving from activity to activity with little adult intervention and a whole lot less resistance. While watching him move through his day, I could only concentrate on not losing it and crying like a baby when he danced with the other kids during motors time.. watching him dance to the music was pure joy.
He even requested we go out and play with the other kiddos at the end of the morning session (Ashton NEVER asks to go outside- who wants to go outside when you have to crawl or have the constant adult companion) and so, we went outside and played! It was a gift to see him just be a little boy- to walk, to play, to discover, and to interact with his friends while standing on his own two feet! It was a relief and gift to be able to sit back and watch him from the sidelines- the whole time silently chanting "Go Ashton, Go!" ..and God Bless those ELC kids that are so unbelievably accepting of him! The affection and true compassion they extend to Ashton melts my heart! It is very clear that engineering a walker for him was the right choice. I can't even begin to tell you how proud I was to see him participate just like the other kids today- yeah, just like the other kids!
There are many days that I struggle to have my boys recognized for the beautiful people they are inside and not defined by their unique disabilities. Today, I know I wasn't the only one that got to see beyond Ashton's disability- we saw his ABILITY!
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14a
Monday, March 14, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I'm a Mom...
When I find myself in conversations with people and when they ask what I do- I immediately utter my auto response: I'm the Marketing Manager for Adventures Restaurant & Pub. While I love my job at Adventures and the flexibility that it allows me to work from home it takes but a sliver of time in my actual week. Over 90% of my week is devoted to my children and developing their brains and bodies to their highest potential. Truth is, I'm afraid to tell them "I'm a Mom." or "I'm a stay-at-home Mom" ...I've done this before and I'm here to tell you- I exercises extreme caution when telling anybody this is my job title!
If the phrase some how slips out of my lips- It's almost as if you can see the level of respect the other person has for you continue drop until they have recovered from your curve ball of a response and continue the conversation. While it's true, not every person reacts this way (there still is a small underground group of cheerleaders out there). I would say the average is a mortifying 75% of the population gives the blank stare and gives up hope of being able to carry on any sort of conversation with you on topics unrelated to laundry or diaper brands. It's strange to me that one of the most important responsibilities one can accept can command such little recognition or respect. I'm a well educated person with a college degree, but I mean really- do you think I could list being a Mom on a resume and get away with it? I know, the feminist in me says I should not be ashamed or flinch at the thought of doing this, but the business minded me says, "Yeah Right!" It seems like if at the 12 week mark following your child's birth if you don't drop your baby off at daycare, society assumes you have chosen to instead surrender your brain and ability to contribute any valuable skills or talents beyond removing stains from your kids shirts.
Every few months I have a teary eyed conversation with Shelby about how I am envious of him. I know, your shocked right? I cry... yeah, I do. Heck, I just told you I'm a Mom... why shouldn't I continue to embarrass myself- right?! I am envious that he goes to work. To me going to work would mean at least 8 hours of social interaction and camaraderie. It means he has a clock-in time and a clock-out time. It means that he has the ability to take a day off and use his vacation time. It means that he has a retirement account- a day when he can stop working without the worry of financial obligation. I have to remind myself... he does these things and is also a Dad. My gripes are kind of like preaching to the choir now!
Most of my days consist of none of the things of a corporate career. We try hard to pattern our days so we have some sort of schedule and routine- it works most days, but calling in sick doesn't cut it! I love when the kids and I get visitors or we're able to get out and about. Reality is two of my babies aren't walking and Owen's medication schedule requires thought and planning- it's impossible to go anywhere on a whim. Every venture out is meticulously planned and going to any retail establishment is out of the question when I am the only adult able to go. I don't get days off... if Shelby takes vacation it's because he has plans. It seems like lunacy for him (our breadwinner) to take time off so I can take time off, when we so desperately need his vacation days for family time, medical appointments, and the rare real vacation. Truth is- I don't know what I (alone) would do with a day off anymore. I don't need time to myself or have the available cash for some retail therapy... many of the friendships and social relationships I once had have suffered greatly due to my lack of social time. ...social time is usually in the evenings (when Shelby works) or after 9pm anyway, not really an attractive hour when the rooster crows at 6am! I wish that were different and really cherish the social relationships I have still been able to keep in tact- I've got a few very true friends and am so thankful for that!
Yes, there are some sacrifices to being a Mom- just as there are to all other employment opportunities. Being a Mom also comes with a very impressive incentive package. Every day I have been given the opportunity to cultivate and nurture the minds and bodies of three amazing individuals. I get to witness the pride they take in mastering a task for the first time, I get to share the moments that make life matter, and I get to be the recipient of the purest of love on this Earth from the three most wonderful souls I know. I also get the job perk of having a great work partner. Shelby is my best friend, my favorite fishing partner, he's a fantastic Dad, and the person I can dump the clutter in my head out on when pen and paper are too slow to keep up. He is the reason I can be everything I am. I'm very lucky and blessed to have been given this opportunity to be a Mom. I guess being a Mom isn't my job anyway... it's my privilege. I'm so proud to be a Mom.
This Sunday would be my Mom's 53rd Birthday, she always sure to tell me how proud she was of me and I'll never forget that. Thanks Mom. <3
If the phrase some how slips out of my lips- It's almost as if you can see the level of respect the other person has for you continue drop until they have recovered from your curve ball of a response and continue the conversation. While it's true, not every person reacts this way (there still is a small underground group of cheerleaders out there). I would say the average is a mortifying 75% of the population gives the blank stare and gives up hope of being able to carry on any sort of conversation with you on topics unrelated to laundry or diaper brands. It's strange to me that one of the most important responsibilities one can accept can command such little recognition or respect. I'm a well educated person with a college degree, but I mean really- do you think I could list being a Mom on a resume and get away with it? I know, the feminist in me says I should not be ashamed or flinch at the thought of doing this, but the business minded me says, "Yeah Right!" It seems like if at the 12 week mark following your child's birth if you don't drop your baby off at daycare, society assumes you have chosen to instead surrender your brain and ability to contribute any valuable skills or talents beyond removing stains from your kids shirts.
Every few months I have a teary eyed conversation with Shelby about how I am envious of him. I know, your shocked right? I cry... yeah, I do. Heck, I just told you I'm a Mom... why shouldn't I continue to embarrass myself- right?! I am envious that he goes to work. To me going to work would mean at least 8 hours of social interaction and camaraderie. It means he has a clock-in time and a clock-out time. It means that he has the ability to take a day off and use his vacation time. It means that he has a retirement account- a day when he can stop working without the worry of financial obligation. I have to remind myself... he does these things and is also a Dad. My gripes are kind of like preaching to the choir now!
Most of my days consist of none of the things of a corporate career. We try hard to pattern our days so we have some sort of schedule and routine- it works most days, but calling in sick doesn't cut it! I love when the kids and I get visitors or we're able to get out and about. Reality is two of my babies aren't walking and Owen's medication schedule requires thought and planning- it's impossible to go anywhere on a whim. Every venture out is meticulously planned and going to any retail establishment is out of the question when I am the only adult able to go. I don't get days off... if Shelby takes vacation it's because he has plans. It seems like lunacy for him (our breadwinner) to take time off so I can take time off, when we so desperately need his vacation days for family time, medical appointments, and the rare real vacation. Truth is- I don't know what I (alone) would do with a day off anymore. I don't need time to myself or have the available cash for some retail therapy... many of the friendships and social relationships I once had have suffered greatly due to my lack of social time. ...social time is usually in the evenings (when Shelby works) or after 9pm anyway, not really an attractive hour when the rooster crows at 6am! I wish that were different and really cherish the social relationships I have still been able to keep in tact- I've got a few very true friends and am so thankful for that!
Yes, there are some sacrifices to being a Mom- just as there are to all other employment opportunities. Being a Mom also comes with a very impressive incentive package. Every day I have been given the opportunity to cultivate and nurture the minds and bodies of three amazing individuals. I get to witness the pride they take in mastering a task for the first time, I get to share the moments that make life matter, and I get to be the recipient of the purest of love on this Earth from the three most wonderful souls I know. I also get the job perk of having a great work partner. Shelby is my best friend, my favorite fishing partner, he's a fantastic Dad, and the person I can dump the clutter in my head out on when pen and paper are too slow to keep up. He is the reason I can be everything I am. I'm very lucky and blessed to have been given this opportunity to be a Mom. I guess being a Mom isn't my job anyway... it's my privilege. I'm so proud to be a Mom.
This Sunday would be my Mom's 53rd Birthday, she always sure to tell me how proud she was of me and I'll never forget that. Thanks Mom. <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)